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http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/index.php en Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:19:56 -0500 Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:19:56 -0500 Phorum 5 Phorum 5.1.25 60 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,27,27#msg-27 admin1
There seems to be one individual who apparently has nothing better to do with his time than make basically empty response's to the site. To you I'm sorry you don't have a better way to spend your time. It's very precious you should learn how to manage it better.

I haven't written in quite a while as we've been busy with life as it goes on no matter what. I have roughly sixteen of you to get back in touch with and respond to what you wrote. So in advance thanks for your time / comments and what not.


To Janie: Thank you for writing about your condition and especially your past. I'm sure it must have been hard for you to write. I will be writing you more in depth at a later time when I have more time. But I felt I must say something to you now in reference to not letting my daughter know I "blogged" about her.

I have not mentioned names for a reason. So obviously I've already made this private in that sense . It's because of my LOVE for her that I am doing this!!! AS you said yourself you've had many UTI's, surgeries and such - Something I discovered about you because of my site's and will now look into as a possibility for her. My point is that the Dr's know so very little about this GD that I've tapped into the internet for help. If it were as simple from the beginning of all this GD that she was just simply missing one favorite past time / meal and so on I would not have gotten so upset and felt so helpless. If you had read the entire site you would have seen that practically all day EVERY day it was non stop through ALL meals, ALL play, ALL environments to the point where she would always become sweaty and exhausted ALL day. Requiring more sleep than any normal little girl. Thus missing her entire little childhood.

I'm an adult who is well aware of the pleasure an awesome orgasm can bring. HOWEVER, when you are this young missing this much - it's out of control!!! and needs to be "helped". A child must eat for nourishment!!!! Must interact with other peers to some extent for normal development!!! And family .... and so on...

I KNOW there are other parents on this site who have made posts, and those who have stayed silent, that know what I'm talking about. When GD has total control of your child's life it's time to step in and do something!!!! And if that means doing whatever it takes to get help, spending countless hours putting our story out there so that others may feel comfortable enough to come forward with theirs so that we can compare notes sort a speak ( Like you yourself), working with early intervention, and so on - then SO BE IT !!!!!! I will continue to do whatever is within my power to continue to help her have a life.

This site has been a wonderful source of information from different experiences and different sides of GD. Those who have GD and those who are parents / guardians of children with GD. And I wouldn't change a thing I've done as far OT, nutritionists, strategies, or all the blogging that I have done thus far. As a matter of fact I'm sorry I wasn't able to write every night!! The only way we're ever going to get a better understanding of what our children are going through is by talking ourselves through it with others.

And as far as all the "focus" she's had on this part of her life - It's nothing that you need to "concern yourself" about!!! ... She has done a complete 360' since this time last year because of it. She is able to 'control' her GD much better now. She eats, plays, talks, interacts just as a little girl should !! So, it's obviously worked for her to have this "focus" / LOVE / ATTENTION in her life. She is excelling so fast in so many different areas of her development that she no longer qualifies for services at all no matter how the workers write up her GD - In ONLY 1 year she's come this far !!!! She has made record breaking improvement. None of this for her was difficult or not enjoyed. She fell in love with all the people who have helped her and quite frequently asks for them as much as they still ask for her. WE always make her feel loved and NORMAL. We NEVER tell her she's dirty for it or talk "bad" about her because of her GD. She is showered with love each and every day and will continue to be until the end of time. Maybe it's because we're not a southern baptist family that we're not 'hard' on her or make her feel bad about herself. We're just simply learning how to guide her through this better than just "letting her go".

And some day when my daughter is much much older if she asks me about her "GD" on her own terms then I will be more than happy to tell her all about what I've found and done. I will tell her all about who I've spoke to since many of the adults who have posted say over and over again how alone they felt (including yourself) in this until they read the site and find there are others!!! And I will tell her how I came to discover them - omitting ALL names of course. I hope that she'll understand it was done in privacy and with all MY HEART AND LOVE and NOTHING but the best of intentions on improving HER life. May she be big enough to fully understand what crazy things we do as parents for our children!!!!!!!!]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,27,27#msg-27 Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:19:56 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,26,26#msg-26 Janie
Having GD seriously affected my life - it was always (and still is) a source of immense shame and guilt (I am married and in my mid 40's now, 2 sons ages 8 and 10). While I do not remember my parents ever mentioning it specifically to me, I knew from the age of 2 that I was doing something "bad" and no one should see me doing it. But my idea of what people could see and not see wasn't very developed and I did it a lot in front of people. I remember in kidergarten during nap time that was all I did and I thought no one knew because I was under a blanket. All the kids noticed because they would ask me what I was doing, they wanted to know what it was called. To this day I will not go to a reunion out of embarrassment.

I was sexually abused around 2 or 3 yrs old and I always thought they did it because they saw me GD'ing and thought I must have wanted it. I honestly do not know if the GD or abuse came first, though. But it made me feel like it was my fault anyway. I ended up being very promiscuos in high school and college and always felt "dirty" because of those sexual feelings.

If I had a daughter with GD I would have no idea how to handle it, I do not know what someone could have said to me to make me feel better about myself. I do not want to scare any mothers out there because I think my situation was unusual due to the abuse - but it truly had a horrible impact on my life (the GD, I mean, as well as the abuse).

If anyone wants to email me, please feel free to at Oarmentors@gmail.com . I would love to talk to other adults who had this and compare notes, so to speak. I wonder how many of us suffer from depression and sexual disorders as well as physical problems like my continuous UTI's.

It is amazing to be able to talk about this, I only learned the term "GD" a few months ago. I always knew something was wrong with me but never imagined I could ever talk about it! Thank you for this forum.

- Janie

PS - to the website owner, the woman with the daughter who inspired this forum - whatever you do, DO NOT ever, ever, ever, EVER let your daughter know you wrote about her on the internet.... if I found out my mom had done this I would have commited suicide. I am not exaggerating. The shame and humiliation is so deep, so unrelenting that I tried to kill myself a few times by age 12 because I knew all my classmates had seen me do it as well as my older brothers and sisters. My world would have ended if I found out my mom had blogged about me. I am hoping my experience is unusual and not every little girl feels as horrible as I did/do, but just in case, please do not ever let her know. I am afraid it will be hard enough on her as she gets older when she looks back and remembers all the focus that was placed on that aspect of her behavior.]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,26,26#msg-26 Thu, 30 Oct 2008 06:58:04 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,8,25#msg-25 bethie
I have found that it effects me more when I am under stress. In elementary school, mostly during a test or while trying to do my homework then and now, boredom is another trigger, but after menstruation it is worse now that I am an adult.

I just want to warn people with daughters though that they have to warn them about privacy, especially in public. I had a bad habit of trying to hide it under my desk, but thinking back now I remember my 6th grade teacher noticing it, and well he never did anything to me, but I remember his face so well to many weirdos out there.

I saw a site where a doctor started a study in 1972, it is to bad I didn't know him I was born then. What I have always wondered though is if children do normally grow out of it, because there are times I wish It would just go away, and how can I control it?

I think infantile masturbation is a little odd of a name since I am not an infant anymore. A few years ago I tried googling it but had no luck, then I saw the House episode with the little girl and googled it again. I knew it wasn't uncommon because when I was about 7 or 8 A girl a few years younger then me had it to,]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,8,25#msg-25 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 12:02:36 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,24,24#msg-24 oki_flame
I started masturbating at the age of 3 and did it quite frequently but my mother never had "The Talk" with me, she only looked very disapointed whenever she caught me.

It became a problem when I was in first grade in a Christian school and my teacher made me feel bad for doing it by telling me it was a "Sin" and that "Good girls didn`t do that".(Yeah that didn`t mess me up) I had lots of adults asking to me about "Why" I was doing it, which only made me even more embarassed because I didn`t know "What" I was doing so I couldn`t answer "Why" I was doing it and they even made me have an exam to make sure my hymen was still intact.(Which it was but the expericence traumatized me)

I never "Grew out of it" as they put it, I was only ashamed of myself thinking I was disgusting for masturbating and that I was the only girl who did this. It wasn`t until I was 17 that I realized I wasn`t a bad person and that I wasn`t the only girl in the masturbating world.

The only thing that could be looked at as a problem that stemed from my GD was because I had been bringing myself to orgasm my entire life and had perfected my method, when I did start to have sex it was a real let down compared to what I could do for myself, it wasn`t until I met my husband that I was finally able to have a orgasm during sex.
And no that was not the reason why I married him, I didn`t even acheive a orgasm until I had completely fallen in love with him and we were thinking of the future together.

Essencially what I`d like to let all you parents know is that there is nothing wrong with your kids, the only difference is that your kids started masturbating earlier then others. Tell your children what thier doing isn`t bad but that it should be done in private but don`t make them feel bad about it because it`s not their fault and it`s not yours either. Remember this is not a reflection on you being a bad parent or having bad genes and deffinitly not because you did something wrong without realizing it. Talk to your children, let them know what their doing and tell them about masturbation, don`t keep them in the dark by ignoring it and hoping it will go away.
And if your children are to young to talk, communicate the best way possible with them and when they get to the age of being able to talk you`ll be ready for it.

And if your still not sure why they do it or the reason how they can pass up their favorite past time or toy for it, is the same reasons adults do, it`s pleasurable, fun, and it`s better than chocolate.]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,24,24#msg-24 Fri, 24 Oct 2008 00:54:05 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,23,23#msg-23 kali_laya12 Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,23,23#msg-23 Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:17:01 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,22,22#msg-22 sydneygirl
I havent been on this site for some time, but I did previously write about my daughter who has had GD since she was about 3 1/2 months. We went through all the usual things, Dr's (who said she is normal and she would grow out of it - usually around 4 yrs of age), diets, distraction etc and nothing worked, and in fact it continued to get worse over the months. She was often doing it hundreds of times in a day and would immediately do it when tired or frustrated with anything. We were very concened if she would learn like other kids as she spent so much of her time with GD that it left very little for other things. Also she would never persist with anything that frustrated her, as she would automatically go to GD. But like all other comments here, when she wasnt doing that, she is the most gorgeous, happy little girl.

Anyway I just wanted to give you an update, and that is she no longer had GD! It litterally was just over about a week and it went from full on, to not at all. I read on this site how your daughter went 6 weeks or so without it or with only doing it a little so I didnt get myself excited about it stopping, but it just never came back and that was now months ago! There was nothing we can pinpoint as being a reason as to why she stopped, I guess she just did so when she was ready? Anyway today she is a bright, confident little girl of 18 months and we are very grateful that she has moved on from GD.

A time will come when your children too will gt past this, and it was great to read about it on this website to allow us all to realise we are not alone, and our kids are perfectly normal.

Sheree]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,22,22#msg-22 Wed, 08 Oct 2008 23:20:03 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,21,21#msg-21 admin
So please join and talk. All is private!!!!! I know first hand how difficult this is to talk about but let me tell you when you finally do and you realize there are many others it feels as though a great weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Hope to meet you soon....

Admin]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,21,21#msg-21 Wed, 25 Jun 2008 22:02:29 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,20,20#msg-20 admin1
Anyway, GD had been gone for six weeks here and out of the blue it came back full force. All the happy wind that had been filling me up is gone. Just ... BLAH BLAH BLAH ... Hoping this is the last whatever. But I'm pretty sure that we've dropped the ball here on our end and have somehow let her get constipated and fearful again and tada GD is here again.

Wishing we were all GD free ...

Admin - Stacy]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,20,20#msg-20 Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:51:19 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,19#msg-19 admin1 Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,19#msg-19 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:25:40 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,17,18#msg-18 admin1
Nice to hear from you. You'll have to excuse the lack of responses on this site or messages. Things are crazy with two little ones at home and most of us are talking back and forth through e-mail. I'm trying to get everyone to talk on this site so that we can all talk to each other at the same time.

None of us are Dr.'s here or at least none have said so. I AM NOT one :). I am the stay-at-home mom who has started both the blogging site and this phorum in hopes of finding other parents dealing with this as well. That being said if you read the "about" section of gratification_disorder.org you'll get my story from the start to present. There is also a link to the ped. study that was done. This is when Gratification Disorder was discovered - as far as I can tell. Again I'm not a dr. so don't quote me :)

To me - yes - it sounds that this might be what your daughter has. PLEASE don't be ashamed or embarrassed !!!!!!! There are hundreds of parents dealing with this. You're NOT alone. If indeed this is what your daughter has. We took our daughter to a ped. neurologist to get her Dx. I would recommend you get a professional Dx before doing / assuming anything else. What if it's something else?

We video taped our daughter doing the behavior and then brought that w/ a stroller into the Dr.'s office so that they could see first hand something was "wrong". It wasn't until that that we finally got a Dx.

If that is what they say then we're all here for you!!! Feel free to talk with us and ask whatever questions you have. There are parents on both sites who have little girls with GD and other women who are or have dealt with GD themselves. So you can see it from both sides. This has helped me a great deal. Hearing what women with GD have to say about this has opened my eyes to what my daughter is dealing with. This has been a bigger help than any of the articles / people that I've read / spoken to. Please let us know how you make out.

Good Luck :)
admin1]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,17,18#msg-18 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:20:47 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,17,17#msg-17 clarkshd Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,17,17#msg-17 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:59:27 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,16#msg-16 kelseyann Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,16#msg-16 Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:32:13 -0400 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,11,15#msg-15 admin1 Then later that night at my sister's house she had two huge (hard) bowel movements - remember no miralax for a while now. But let me tell you normally she would have do nothing but GD, on the floor, breaking out in a sweat right up until the moment she moved her bowels. Last night NOTHING. She just walked up to my sister and said "nana I go big poopy" and that was it. Changed her diaper and she did the same thing one more time. NO GD THE ENTIRE NIGHT. I still have not seen it but for the 3 secs yesterday since Feb. 14th.

I still believe that it was not because she out grew it but because we have found the reason for her GD and have learned how to help her deal with this Tactile Sensory / fear bowel movements. Because her GD seems to always revolve around her bowel movements. Like yesterday - I believe the 3secs I saw was because of the intense bowel movement she needed to have.

Fingers still crossed ... :)]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,11,15#msg-15 Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:28:03 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,12,14#msg-14 admin1
Stacy]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,12,14#msg-14 Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:22:26 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,12,13#msg-13 Linda Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,12,13#msg-13 Sat, 23 Feb 2008 12:57:14 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,12,12#msg-12 admin1 Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,12,12#msg-12 Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:39:35 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,11,11#msg-11 admin1
I thought it was wonderful that she not only went in her diaper (avoiding our usual potty trauma) but did so w/o ANY GD. As if that wasn't good enough she hasn't done it AT ALL. Not at nap / bed time, not bored, in the car - no where since WED> NIGHT at bed time !!!!!! I keep turning around expecting to see some and nope not there.

I'm not complaining this has been the best GD FREE week ever. It's like she just woke up and said "Hey I can go potty in my diaper" she's gone 4 times since thurs. I'm so used to seeing her doing it that now it's funny - pleasant!!!!!!! but funny- to not see it.

Here's hoping that this is the start of a GD Free little girl :) !!!!]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,11,11#msg-11 Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:37:39 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,8,10#msg-10 sydneygirl My daughter is now 9 months old (it was diagnosed at about 4 to 5 months of age)and her GD has not really changed. She seems to go through stages where it becomes more frequent, and then it drops back off a little again. I found that when she wanted to crawl but couldn't yet, she did it all the time - out of frustration. Once she could crawl, it tapered off a little, but now she is used to crawling so she has increased the frequency yet again. I really thought the new found mobility would keep her amused and occupied for some time so she wouldn't feel the need to do GD as often but this was only the case for a short time. I guess this means I shouldn't pin my hopes on it getting better when she can walk either....I spoke to a POT (we didnt have a full session, I just spoke to her about this after a seminar I went to where she spoke about a range of things - but GD was not one of those) but she could only provide suggestions of extra sensory play and more tactile things we could try, but they may detract for a short time but overall nothing seems to work.
My pediatrician said they generally grow out of this by about 4 yrs of age, but your child is older. I wonder if they start a little later (you said your child started just before 1yr) they continue until they're a bit older, and likelise if they start early they stop at a younger age?
Anyway I hope it gets better for you both, hopefully we'll chat again.
Sheree]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,8,10#msg-10 Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:12:05 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,9#msg-9 admin1
Welcome !!! It's always exciting to hear from someone new. I hope that we'll of some help to you as well as the other way around.
I'm not sure how much of the site you've read but I created this phorum so that all of the people who've been in contact with me can have a place to go and talk amongst themselves.
As you can see it's very new and barely used. I plan on getting everyone on hear soon and hopefully we'll all be talking like crazy with new people coming forward every day. That being said I'd like to say "Thank You" as well for signing up and giving us your story. I know how difficult this topic is to speak about when it involves my child must be harder still to speak about in the first person. Thanks so much and I look forward to speaking with you.


Admin: Stacy]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,9#msg-9 Wed, 06 Feb 2008 19:43:15 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,8,8#msg-8 aghiowa
The last 6 months she has been going to a play therapist to deal with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), which has been helping her with talking about her feelings, but not with her GD behavior at all.

Just in the last few weeks, I have begun exploring the sensory issues I feel are connected with her GD. She is in almost all ways a normal little girl - she is NOT autistic, but she does have some tactile and motor sensory issues I think. However they seem fairly mild to me. I know her GD bothers her, as she knows she's not supposed to do it in public, but it's like she is powerless to stop it.

I am in the process of getting her evaluated by an OT and I'm really hoping this will shed some light on the whole thing. We are running out of time before she starts school, and I'm just baffled.

I am so glad to hear there are others out there with normal little girls who just happen to have GD. I wish doctors knew more about this so I wouldn't have to diagnose, treat and support myself. :)

Angela]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,8,8#msg-8 Wed, 02 Jan 2008 10:43:19 -0500 http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,7#msg-7 ksbyrd
It was just recently that I learned that I had this disorder when I was young. Granted, I was never diagnosed with this but this is the closest thing I have ever found that relates to my childhood. I am 36 now and I remember vividly the ways I would get gratification when I was young. Probably the earliest I remember was in kindergarten at nap time. I would get in trouble with the teachers when I would masterbate. Of course, I never thought I was doing anything wrong...it was just a part of what I did.

I had begun to think that maybe I had been molested when I was young and that was my way of dealing with it....yet, I never remembered anything bad happeneing. I once I asked my mom about it and she said I did it as a young child many times. She was a teacher and dad was a principal so I assume they knew enough to know it was not a problem, per say, and the reason I never went to the doctor dealing with it.

As I grew older, I continued to do this and I think it more or less embarrassed my mom cause when I was 'caught', I felt I had done something bad.

I have to give credit to the TV show House because it was watching it that I first heard of this and a light bulb went on in my head...."this is what I had when I was young and I wasn't a freak!!"

I would love to find out more about this and think it would be wonderful to have some sort of research or followup to children who experienced this and how their life is now to see if there are any correlations going on.

In conclusion, I suppose I would tell any parent dealing with this that we grow up to be good adults, and I would hope more information would be available so families and children could understand this disorder better!!

Smiles,
Kelly]]> Gratification Disorder - General http://gratification-disorder.org/phorum/read.php?1,7,7#msg-7 Mon, 31 Dec 2007 23:31:08 -0500